Puddles of What I'm Enjoying: Lester Freamon's Stakeout Scene in Season 5 of The Wire

In a new sporadic series, Matt Domino shares a brief look at a bit of pop culture, entertainment, or literature he is enjoying.

Puddles of My Fiction: Pool

Read Matt Domino's short story, "Pool," which is featured in the latest edition of the Montreal Review.

Mark Jack: Caressed by the Glow of Screens

No one cares about books anymore, but what screen now holds the highest value?

The Walloped and the Walloper

Life can wallop anybody, but Alex Theoharides (@Minne_Pop) explains what exactly that means to him.

Mark Madness: Class Consciousness or The Porch

Mark Jack delivers his brand of March Madness: a thoughtful meditation on the nature of porches and how we socially interact in the world.

Love and the NBA

Alex Theoharides (@Minne_Pop) sorts through his heartbreak to ruminate on Ricky Rubio's injury, the Minnesota Timberwolves, love, and writing.

Heart of Markness: 7 Paragraphs on Streetlights

Mark Jack joins us once again to provide his knowledge and insight on an everyday object that we seem to take for granted. Today's object is the streetlight.

Theoharides On Fiction: "Ugly Carlo"

Alex Theoharides shares one of his most recent pieces of short fiction, a story titled "Ugly Carlo."

Mark My Words

Mark Jack says farewell to New York City and prepares to reluctantly welcome the West Coast straight into his heart.

Theoharides on Spring, Captain America and Literature

It's Wednesday, my Puddlers, and I hope you are enjoying the terrific spring weather. I myself am looking forward to the summer, which means drinking insanely cold beer, going to the beach, being tan and generally seeming open for adventure—basically the idea of things being simpler that will ultimately fade by August after the accumulation of serial-killer heat and I'll look forward to "things beginning again" in September, much like Nick Carraway (soon to be played by Toby Maguire) once did.

But, we can't take these still cool May evenings for granted, especially with that serial killer heat looming in June. So please go out and enjoy the May evenings. Eat at a picnic table at a French restaurant, drink a Monte Carlo or some other rye drink that you've never had before and be sure to watch the trailer for the upcoming Puddles of Myself movie.

Also, since its Wednesday, you can read Alex Theoharides as he muses on spring, literature and comic book heroes.

Theoharides On Spring, Captain America, and Literature

Alex Theoharides

(channeling my inner Dick Vitale)

That’s right, it’s the trifecta baby!

Spring has finally come to Minneapolis and with the arrival of the magnolia blossoms and the hyacinths and the people waking from their winter doldrums, my fortitude to write has slipped, my words sucked away from me, replaced by my desire to sit on the benches by Lake Harriet, staring out at the sailboats as they float in endless circles around a golden buoy, getting nowhere.

All I want to do is sit on my bench, thinking of nothing, doing nothing, writing nothing.

“Nothing, you say?”

“Yes, this post will be about nothing.”

“Excellent, nothing sounds better than the something you usually bring.”

Indeed it does, which is why what I would like to do during my sojourn into nothingness is introduce you to a little game I play in my head on days like this. Namely, if you could be any super hero, who would you be and why. Except, I’ll replace you with famous writers. And instead of asking the writers for their own though, I’ll just assign them random slots and hope the alleged shoe (I swear it was a sock) fits.

Today, I’ll start with one hero, the Captain himself.

Mr. Steve Rogers was born a sickly child, who always wanted to be a hero, but was too weak to fight in WWII. Instead, he volunteered to take a secret serum, which turned him into the fighting machine known as Captain America, and along with Nick Fury and his trusty sidekick Bucky, he set about destroying the Axis powers. In the post war years, he was left for dead, frozen in ice, as the public’s desire for super heroes faded. Of course, we all know what happened next. Yes, school children, that’s right, it’s the Cold War. The Cap’n was promptly unfrozen, and he became one of the founding members of the greatest crime fighting, world-saving gang known to mankind—The Avengers.

With no further ado, I give you …

The Captain America Contenders

Rules: The writers must be American (#BIRTHERS!). They must have no supernatural tendencies (Including but not limited to: magical realism, fantasy, creationist myths, or general Poe-isms). They must have either fought in a war or written about war. They must be frank and honest, almost to the point of simplicity. Finally, they must look great in red, white and blue leotards!

3. Tim O’Brien. He’s close but not quite good enough to be given a shield by FDR made out of vibranium, an metal found only on the planet of Wakanda. (Yes, I stole the previous tidbit from Wikipedia. And yes, I’m aware this takes away the dork cred I was so hopeful to establish in this post.)  O’Brien’s most famous novel, The Things They Carried, is one of the best accounts of the Vietnam War, peaking with his description of the inner struggle he had over whether or not to dodge the draft. However, O’Brien’s other work, including the often lauded Going After Cacciato, falls flat for me. Plus, the Captain never would have even thought about dodging the draft.

2. Joseph Heller. Catch-22 is the greatest war book ever written by an American, and Goddammit, I don’t care what my old English Professor Dr. Boyers (#namedrop!) says, it’s a whole lot more fun to read then Tolstoy’s War and Peace, which I feel obliged to call the greatest war book ever written, period. However, unlike Heller’s masterpiece, Captain America is rarely funny. And, in many ways, he’s kind of an idiot. (But he’s our idiot.) Frankly, I like Heller too much to place him at the top of this group. It also would have helped if all his follow up attempts to Catch-22 hadn’t completely bombed. The Captain came back from the dead, better than ever. Joseph Heller? Not so much.

1. Ernest Hemingway. The journalist’s journalist. The guy’s guy. The earnest bastard who made me dream when I was a 16 year old with a pen and a moleskin notebook of travelling to Spain to cover the civil war and watch bull fights and sleep with the local women until I realized A) there’s no longer a civil war in Spain and hasn’t been for some time, B) Bull fights are really just about little men in funny hats throwing spears at pissed off bulls, and C) Spanish women would have about as much interest in sleeping with me as they would in sleeping with a blade of grass or a bullfrog. I’m no longer a Hemingway devote, although I do respect and admire his work, particularly his short stories and, in my opinion, his greatest novel, For Whom the Bell Tolls. However, he fits the Captain America bill perfectly: A strong, powerful writer, who uses simple language to convey his belief in the deep-rooted goodness of man, and in the ability of love to conquer war. He never would have dodged the draft. For God’s sake, he sometimes fought just for the hell of it. And yes, he would look smashing in Captain America’s leotard.

Theoharides On the Literary Landscape of the NBA Playoffs

Welcome to Wednesday, my Puddlers. In a break from tradition, I won't be making fun of the 4:20 holiday, so congratulations to you all.

Since it is Wednesday its time to let Alex Theoharides take the spotlight with his own look at things. Since Mr. Theoharides and I are such big basketball fans and the Playoffs have been phenomenal so far, some of you lesser sports fans will have to sit through another basketball post. However, the good news is that Alex's post is much more entertaining than mine and also features some great literary tie-ins.

So, I leave you for now with Mr. Alex Theoharides.

Theoharides on the Literary Landscape of the NBA Playoffs

 Where Literature meets Basketball and … We all win!

Alex Theoharides

Well ladies and gents, it’s been quite a start to the NBA playoffs. In fact, according to my Facebook page it was the best first weekend in the history of the NBA. Of course, my Facebook page is written by an idiot.

Two weeks ago, before our esteemed editor, the Lord of the Puddle himself, Mr. Matthew Domino, left his blog untended to visit, what I can only assume was, some ungodly region of the world, I teased you with the promise of under hyped story lines and fearless predictions heading into the heart of the NBA Playoffs. However, after the aforementioned Mr. Domino’s stellar work outlining the NBA playoffs, I’ve decided to come at you with a slightly different take. Today, I’d like to separate the pretenders from the contenders, while comparing each team in the playoffs to the best and worst of American literary classics. In other words, in the following lines, two titans will collide in an epic battle for control of my mind. Literature meets Basketball. But will we survive?

Let’s go worst to first:

The Pretenders aka (Domino will kill me but...) the John Steinbeck Division

Philadelphia 76ers - Call of the Wild

A team of gentle pups enters the savage world known as the NBA playoffs, only to go all rogue and leave their wizened leader scratching his head as to where he went wrong. Whammo!

Indiana Pacers - The Grapes of Wrath

Long, seemingly tough players, who aren’t afraid to get dirty and at times can compete with the best teams in the league, but ultimately unravel in long tangents, in which they don’t score, don’t defend, and make everyone want to change the channel. Oh yeah, and they don’t know how to finish. Done and done!

Atlanta Hawks - Catcher in the Rye

Angst ridden young men, who seem good at first glance, but always leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth. Bam!

Denver Nuggets - On the Road

Ironic in a way, considering Denver plays much better at home. However, just like Kerouac's rambling novel, this team makes little sense on paper, somehow manages to over-exceed expectations, but ultimately doesn’t have much to say about anything.

New York Knicks - Catch-22

The only way you can win with D’Antoni is if you don’t play his brand of basketball, but if they don’t play his brand of basketball the Knicks won’t score enough points to win.

 New Orleans Hornets - Lonesome Dove

An aging gunslinger, slowed by injuries, discarded in a barren wasteland, seeking one last hurrah before his knees go out and with them his career. Alright!

Portland Trailblazers meets Sometimes a Great Notion

A big, sprawling, hopelessly flawed team that plays in the Northwest? Shnikes!

Memphis Grizzlies - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

A young, gifted team floating downriver, trying to overcome a history of failure, influenced by a coach and GM, both of who seemingly tricked their way into their jobs? Okay, so perhaps, it’s my biggest stretch.

The Contenders aka (Domino might agree) the Robert Penn Warren Division

Orlando Magic - Moby-Dick

A maniacal mad man at the helm, desperately searching for the whale that got away, a team that seemingly has no control over its own destiny, a strange, Middle Eastern man watching over everything … okay, okay …  it’s a stretch, but if you’re casting the role of Ahab you could do a lot worse than Stan Van Gundy

San Antonio Spurs - As I Lay Dying

A team of castoffs and sinners trying to come together to carry their dead leader to his grave. Oh yeah, and they’re boring to boot! 

Dallas Mavericks - The Great Gatsby

Let’s see, who does this remind you of? Man always wanted to be good at sports so that people would love him. Man isn’t good at sports. Man is good at business. Even though no one knows how he made his money or who he had to kill to do it. Man buys sports team and pretends to be one of the players, hoping to be loved. Man puts together the best team money can buy and gives them a shiny new stadium to play in. Man comes up hopelessly short.

Boston Celtics - A Farewell to Arms

A battle they’d thought they could win until they lost their beloved friend, and with him, their desire to fight! (God, I hope I’m wrong).

Miami Heat - All the Kings Men

A little poem I wrote:

Pat Riley made a bold call,

Pat Riley had a great fall,

All the Heat’s money and all the Heat’s men,

Couldn’t win Pat Riley a championship again.

L.A. Lakers - Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

A schizophrenic man sets off on a journey across America, trying to reach the promised land. All he has with him is his best bike and his knowledge of how to fix it. But is it too late? Has he already burnt too many bridges?

Oklahoma City Thunder - All the Pretty Horses

A duo of talented young guns rolls into the west, guns blazing, for a romantic adventure. They come away just short, half-alive and scarred by what they’ve seen.

Chicago Bulls - Native Son

A man born on the mean city streets, trying to overcome a giant shadow, surrounded by weak men trying to save him from himself … okay fine, so I only made this comparison because the title was perfect. But it is!

Fearless Prediction:

This is the end of basketball as we know it. All the old boys, the Spurs, Magic, Celtics, Mavericks and Lakers will all go down before the finals. Who does that leave to duel it out? The young guns. Thunder vs. Bulls. Bulls take it in six. Followed by the self-combustion of the evil psycho robot that is David Stern, because he yet again missed out on the LeBron vs. Kobe NBA Finals he wants so badly.